Found

Yesterday I was missing Ethan and Maggie.

I gave sooo much of myself to them this summer. and it was a beautiful summer. The love. The laughter. The light. The growing connections for me ~ the ones with my children and also the deeper one forged with my husband recently and us as a family, coupled with my meditation, are expanding me to a place I have always longed for. Always wished for.

Today after dropping Ethan and Maggie off at school (where they RUN into the building themselves) I planned to clean and organize the house some more. The first thing I came upon were 3 boards I purchased last month to take part in this art exhibit. Emersed in my roles as wife, mother, and self explorer, I temporarily forgot about my role as passionate artist.  After some searching I found the flyer that had accompanied the boards and saw that I had until Sunday to hand in my contribution. So I dusted off my Mod Podge and pulled out my colored tissue paper. How long had it been since my hands were in glue?

While the first layer dries I have been listening to this old playlist and singing out loud!

and smiling and dreaming and wishing and planning how I can manifest and merge and balance ALL I desire.

The other day as part of my house re-organizing I was moving my old journals to a different spot. It was slow going as I kept stopping to read a page from each one. Just now two lines from a poem I read in one of the journals kept repeating in my head;

My soul that I had forgotten. No longer am I alseep.

I stopped now to look for the poem amongst my 40 plus journals and found it in under a minute. I guess it was meant for me to share...

October 26, 1998

Comments

[Amber]

It is an exciting time, I think. They are still little, and you have given them so much love and time these last years. And now they are ready to grow in the first few steps on their own path! And you (and me!) can start part of a new personal path, as well. It is nice.

I also feel even closer to Kory, and I think it has to do with them being a little older. When they were tiny, I gave them sooo much of myself (as I know you did), and now it is like looking up and finding this other person all over again. And sometimes there is "just us" again-- even if just hours here and there.

:)